The King :)

• When a person laughs too much, even on stupid things, that person is sad deep inside
• -When a person sleeps a lot, that person is lonely
• -When a person talks less and if he talks fast, that person is keeping a secret
• -When a person can’t cry, that person is weak
• When a person eats in an abnormal way, that person is in tension
• When a person cries on little things, that person is softhearted
• When someone asks about you although that someone is busy, he/she really loves you

(Source: shyieesolove)

sometimes … i hate my life….nothing ever seems to go right … all i want to know is what did i do that was so wrong ? sometimes I have my family… more then anybody else… my parents… my dad he doesnt care… he’s always in and out of my life… my mom… i think she hates me… its just life i guess… sometimes i feel like ill never be loved..people talk to me… and treat me right and makes me feel so good but for only one thing… to have sex like wtf did i ever do to be treated like this.. and sometimes my friends arent much of friends ive had friends lie to me, use me and mess round with the people that i am talking to .. like i know i dont have the worst life ever its pretty great actually but when will someone actually care for me and be there for me … for me…. not for the benefit of their self but just to be there for someone they care about… sometimes i feel like i get used alot… just because they know ima nice person and i wont say no… sometimes i feel like there is no hope for me like i should just give up … im just so through… and i cant do this anymore …. sometimes i just… cry… 

i am a strong believer in “everything happens for a reason” i am but when i sit here and think about it… me and you went from huggin up and not letting each other go every night we stayed wit each other to distancing our selfs … (im talking bout in the bed) let me go back in time so u can understand… when we first go together we would go to sleep and through out the whole night we would be hugged up like nothing was tearing us apart and i loved it but as i look back we stopped doing that we still slept together but we wasnt hugged up… not everytime… then my mom got mad and told me we couldnt sleep together like that cuz its setting a bad example.. and when i look back on that.. thats bullshit then she turns around and says that he cant even stay the night ..she fucked us up… just like she did with every other relationship i had and they wonder why i dont tell this family nothing… and if i knew that this would make us turn out like this… i woulda take the money that i did had and get us a hotel room every weekend.. this some real fuck shit honestly cuz i love him but it seems like people will never wont me to be happy like wtf ! thats why i stopped telling my family and friends everything that goes on in my life because people dnt care bout me or what im going thru they just want to see me down.. but at the end of the day… even though he left me.. i still believe that he is the love of my life and hopefully we will meet again when i get famous and when he becomes a radio personality .. i believe in us and our dreams and a few days from now he’ll be graduating high school bad thing about it.. is.. i wont be able to see him walk cross the stage… but lord knows i wish i could.. but i love him and all i ask is that God … i wish you could bless him with the best.. and to continue to watch over both of our lifes’ 

8 months ago i met the most amazing person ever.. his name was Kabreel but I called him Kash’. I met him through one of my friends they came to my house and chilled one night. when they got their i thought to myself this boy is bout to be so extra but then he got out the car and he was so friendly and just..his smile had me and he kept doing stuff to make me laugh and i couldnt stop smiling… so a few days later our mutaul friend gives us each others number and we talked and connected right from the start … for once i could stand in front of someone… finally i could be me.. and i loved it! the next day he skipped school and i went to his house and we sat in my car and talked for two hours …that was the first time we took pictures together…i think the day after that he introduced me to his mom, i really didnt think she liked me..prob still dont… and i think my mom didnt like him either but.. we shouldnt have even cared about that because we were great together and made each other better people. to make a long story short. I was in love.. and i still have those same feelings for him… he made me believe he gave me the strength and he treated me like i was someone… all the late night talks all the friday night love and the saturday morning kisses waking up in each others arms he made me feel safe because through the night he would never let me go… and i loved that…thats why i thought he would never leave but like its all gone now though all the love the hugs the kisses its gone and it made me feel like nothing is possible again…like no one will ever care truely about me… like ill always be alone.. i dont understand how someone can love you so much and tell you that they wont hurt you but then they do…hurt you… i just wish we never went through that because he was an amazing, wonderful and entertaining person and i do still love him and miss him alot… i wish i could have one last day to spend with him…i sometimes feel like there is no point in me being here because i dont have him only cuz if someone that you thought all this time was being true to you and loved u then they hurt you like this will do it…. you wonder who else will… and honestly i dnt wanna trust no one ever again…. … im just so #hurt !

i miss you , and i just dnt care … not what ppl think, not how u feel, i just dont care i miss you and you’ll always have a place in my ♥ you inspired me to do so much stuff in my life and even though you left doesnt mean that your not still here…cause i still feel your presence everytime i look at a picture of you… you were my superhero; my backbone and you kept me strong…well atleast for the time you were here …you told me you wouldnt leave again but i guess you had to… but no one will never understand the relationship we had … but dad … i just wish you were here to see me grow up…and i just wish you were here to talk me through rough nights like these… but i miss you… and i hope you doing great where ever you at… :’(

man im all effed up right bout now… lost the two men that ment the most to me at the same time not by death they just left…if you people only knew me and knew what i went thru everyday.. i miss the both of u alot tho and wish u the best..

im so tired.. like im just so tired of being down and people not caring what they say or do to me.. like when is someone going to actually care about me ginuwinely like why do i have to be the one all sad and stuff …. i just want it to be over … i just wanna run away i hate my life right about now and aint nothin i can do to fix it like i kno it gets better but.. how much does a person have to take before they can finally get a break and be able to be happy. God please give me the stregthen to get through this and the patience and guidance in my life in your word. God I cant do this alone and i know you said that you would never put more on me then i can bare but lord have mercy ! you know what i go through everyday jesus and all i can every ask is for you to bless me with love peace and happiness in my life … in your name i pray amen , Thank u for everything God !